Hello, October - Please go back and be September: A Bedroom Workout for Cold Mornings

I'm listening to Jay-Z's 'Empire State of Mind' a lot this past week...

And at 5:15 this morning, as I checked the temperature to find it was a chilling 53 degrees, I indignantly ignored my mother's concerned voice (of reason) ringing inside my head and stubbornly put on my gym shorts, instead of my cute new Adidas pants.

'...and in the winter gets cold en vogue with your skin out...'

For those mornings when the air hits you with the chill of your last lover and the gym seems to be as far away as next summer, get over it and get moving. If those words of inspiration fall as flat of Jillian MIchael's onslaught of stirring four-letter hoorays, then know you can have a pretty good workout on your bedroom floor.

(Mind. Out. Of. Gutter.)

Get down and give yourself 20...the at home push-up can work you as hard and effective as any bench press at the gym, with a few simple tweaks. Read on for a four simple chest blitzing ideas:

1. Sloooooooow down! Controlling the speed of movement during any exercise is highly beneficial when done correctly and the press up offers many opportunities. Lower yourself over a 10-second count and pause in the bottom position for three seconds before exploding upwards.

2. Arranging your hands just inside shoulder width, so that your elbows track closely to the torso throughout the movement, will focus on the triceps more intensely than typical extension exercises. Bigger arms + bigger chest = gorgeousness.

3. Positioning your hands four to five inches wider than shoulder width will switch the focus to your chest and make your pecs burn like your last bout of syphilis.

4. Lifting one foot off the ground (about 3 inches) and holding it while executing a traditional push up makes for some tit-tastic fun. This increases recruitment of abdominal muscles as your core works to make up for lost of stability. Alternate feet every 5 to 10 reps and make sure that each side gets an equal number of reps to prevent imbalance. As always, keep your hips in line with your torso and do not sag towards the floor.

Now, you may go back to bed.

Ab-a-licious: Refreshing Your Take on Abdominal Work

September is typically the second busiest time of year for a gym. Runner up to the post-holiday season, autumn sees gym bunnies ready to pounce back into action after a summer of reaping the benefits of their hard work (ie

One course of action every client wants to pursue is the attack on a six pack: SIX PACK ATTACK!

So, take a seat and pay attention to some simple adjustments you can make in your quest for a perfectly sculpted midsection...a refresher course in ab-bersizes is about to begin:

(And remember, just because you can do 200 crunches doesn't mean that you deserve ripples - haven't you been doing the same exercise for, like, forever? You body IS a machine and will quickly put to muscle memory the regime you execute every week, with your eyes closed).

1. One of the most simple and effective ways of changing a crunch (especially if you're working out from home or a hotel room) involves this cunning trick - grab a towel, roll it up and place it under your lower back; this gently curves your back - forcing your abs to stretch a little further at the starting position and to contract to a greater degree when you crunch.

2. Get on the ball with ball crunching - keep your knees bent and your feet flat and hold that medicine ball just above your head. Now crunch up to bring your shoulder blades off the floor. Hold for a count of two and lower again for 20 reps.

3. The path to a lick-worthy stomach involves using the rest of your body, as well.. Although they are not typically related to abs-focused exercises, SQUATS and DEADLIFTS work the core muscles since your abs need to be strong to support your body when lifting heavy weights and impressing fellow gym bunnies.

4. Rest. Rest is good. Rest is necessary. Your ab muscles are like every other muscle in your body and are subject to the ill-effects of overtraining. Mind you, they can be worked with a bit more frequency than larger muscle groups, but by no means should they be made to work at hour-long intervals 3 times a week.

5. Abs are 90% diet, 10% exercise. Enough said! Just because you workout like a possessed fiend does not entitle you to eat whatever you like and still expect the results worthy of all your hard work on the gym floor.

According to my calender, there are only nine more months 'til summer. No time like the present: we had better get working.

WERQ.

Call The Zoo Keeper - The Pythons Are Out!

I want a lot out of life. It would be nice and calming to honestly say that I'm satisfied with the simple pleasures - (which I am!) - but I suffer from the bigger-better-more-more syndrome.

Two of the things included on this (expansive) precious list of bigger, better, more and more are pipe-like biceps and trunk-like calves...the perpetual quest of many gym bunnies. I'm actually sorta-kinda-almost happy with my chest and back since, a few weeks ago, a charming and drunken Provincetown gent slobbered to me that he had nicknamed me 'Slab' due to the busty nature of Pamela and Jenna (left boob, right boob, respectively). Bless the power of 7 Planter's Punches.

Anyhow, here are some tips on how to add size and strength to your arms - and remember, it doesn't necessarily mean doing arm exercises:

- do more chin-ups! I know, this is easier said than done, but try not to think about pulling yourself up when you do chinups; instead, imagine pulling your elbows down - promise: the exercise will seem easier

- work opposing arm groups groups! Training biceps/triceps back-to-back allows one muscle to work while the other is resting...better still, you won't need as much rest time between sets and you get on to the rest of your day sooner

- pretend you're home and flex! When doing standing arm curls, flex at the top of the motion and completely straighten your arms at the bottom, by flexing your triceps at the end of each repetition...this ensures that you work the muscle through its entire range of motion

- flick the wrist! Bending your wrists forces work your biceps harder - so make sure to extend them backward slightly (and hold them that way) while you do arm curls

Did You Know...

Fun fitness facts for this Wednesday morning:

- if you're thirsty, you're already dehydrated - which leads to fatigue and will impede your ability to maximize your workout

- the optimal way to gain lean mass is though anaerobic AND about 20 - 30 minutes of aerobic exercise

- it takes approximately 18 minutes of aerobic exercise to begin burning fat...so don't think that by just popping on a cardio machine for 30 minutes in the morning is going to yield the results you crave

- every extra pound you gain puts 4x the stress on your knees

- caffeine not only provides an energy boost, but also improves mental intensity and focus during your training

A nice easy way to start your hump day, feeling accomplished with the acquisition of 5 new bits of USEFUL information...

Rise and Shine! Train Earlier, Go Further

It's 8:49 on a Friday nite and I'm home writing on my blog...hmmmm.

Not that I have a problem with laying on my bed, (alone) in my boxers and on my computer - I'm actually counting the minutes to my eBay auction finale so that I can go to bed and wake up super early for a brilliant Saturday morning run.

(CoughahemLOSERcough!)

A study published in the journal Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise found that the best time to increase your cardio resistance is the morning. It was discovered that your core-body temperature is lowest three hours after you wake up, which improves endurance. When nine cyclists were put on stationary bikes in a hot, humid room they were able to push themselves 5.3 minutes longer at 6.45am than at 6.45pm because that cooler body temperature delays overheating.

Not only do you go further, you also jump start your metabolism for the day - another great reason to wake up shouting 'Rise and shine!'

Sometimes, It's Good to Fail

You know that feeling...

...when you're at the end of a set...

...your muscles can't possibly move another inch...

...your face is contorted beyond recognition of even the slightest appeal...

...and the burn engulfing your body is worse than your last case of syphilis?

Congratulations on achieving total muscle failure! If said-sensation is foreign to you, read on and try to mimic it in your next workout; for, in order to produce recognizable growth, the muscle must be overloaded...which creates micro-tears in the muscle, which, subsequently, are repaired, which, subsequently, grow back bigger and better than ever before!

Sometimes working to failure can seem like a scary and unattractive venture - threat of bodily harm and facial mutilation does little for motivation. However, there are certain ways to achieve failure, without risking your ego and sex life:

1. CHEAT - on occasion, be naughty and cheat...a few 'sloppy' reps are ok during the concentric phase (ie contracting the muscle), as long as you're able to maintain form during the eccentric phase (ie lengthening the muscle).

2. DROP SETS - after you've performed the last rep of a set, grab a weight 50% lighter than what you were using and burn it out with as many reps as you can.

3. REDUCE TIME BETWEEN SETS - simple enough, no?

You need not combine all three principles at the same time to your training...there is such a thing as taking failure too far - unless you're like Spicoli.

Tabata Training: Kill Yourself in 4 Minutes

Tabata training was created by Izumi Tabata at the National Institute of Fitness and Sports in Tokyo...those crazy Japanese, they know more than electronics. I've been playing with timed interval training with my clients of late and was tickled pink when I later read a bit on Tabata's own developments, considering his esteem and the little Ph.D. after his name.

Basically, your sets are not broken down into defined number of repetitions, but rather into a 2:1 ration of 20 second intervals of work vs. 10 seconds of rest.

First, you select your method of torture...stick to compound exercises such as bench press, deadlift or squat. Next up, you do a 5-minute warm on a bike to make sure your blood is properly flowing and your muscles are loose...now comes the fun part:

- do the first 'set' of your exercise for 20 seconds; forget about counting and just bang out as many reps as you can without sacrificing good form

- rest for 10 seconds

- repeat the above two steps for four minutes and, if performed properly, you won't want/need to do any more

Remember, since you'll be fatiguing quickly, you will need to pick a lighter weight than what you normally lift...put your bruised ego aside, because after this set the only sore spot will be your muscles.

You Don't Know Squat!

Of all the gym cliches that are worthy of repeating, the chicken-leg stereotype truly stands the test of time. I've been in the gym environment for 22 years...and for 22 years I have seen the same perplexing craftsmanship: a stunningly, beautifully, chiseled upper body being supported by little wooden pegs, looking as though they belong to my grandmother.

Gym bunnies, beware! Few things are as unappealing to the discriminating eye as an unbalanced body - my clients often joke with me that I am far too harsh on those whose calfs are not viewable from front-on...oops: my weakness revealed. Lower-leg aside, the best way, the most effective way, to an impeccably sculpted quad-ham-rump is with the squat. There is no escape route, no magical potion, no gift to the gym god, that will allow you to have what you want without the squat.

To that end, here are some points on taking that squat to the next squa-tastic level:

1. Pause for growth - as you lower yourself down as usual, stop at the bottom and hold for 1-2 seconds, then explode up to the standing position. Watch

2. Lift more weight - by placing the bar lower on your back, where the posterior delts create a shelf on your back, you will be able to handle more poundage. Make sure to take a wider stance and watch your squats graduate from regular to POWER.

3. Fast, faster, faster - move the weight back to standing position as fast as possible requires more muscle fiber recruitment.

4. Rep it up - don't be afraid that more reps, less weight will leave you with under developed rump. Sometimes, pushing a lighter weight for a count of 20 reps will help you to break thru plateaus by tapping into new muscle fibers. Try picking a weight that you can easily squat for 12 reps and then dig into your inner sanctum of strength and will to push out another 8 - it's perfectly fine to pause at the top of the motion and rest for a few moments before going back down.

Now, go deep or go home - for big legs are the new black.

I Dunno: Tip for Shoulder Press

Increase the benefits of your shoulder presses by adding a shrug at the top of the movement - as if you were trying to touch your shoulders to your ears...just make sure not to lock your elbows. This trick will boost your sculpting results because you'll be moving through a fuller range of motion compared to just pressing the weights up and down.

One Simple Rule

Keep your workouts balanced and whole. I plead with you not to approach your training as most people do - (do you want to look like MOST people?) - and select one, maybe two, body parts on which to brutalize. Yes, this method has served you relatively well until now, but relatively well doesn't always get you laid. Instead, view your body as what is truly is: a wholistic engine that functions as a powerhouse unit.

When compared to a total-body workout, individual body part splits are inefficient. Therefore, your new regime should include four components EVERY TIME you hit the gym: push (pressing motions), pull (rowing motions/chin ups), legs and core.

Nothing burns through glycogen stores and causes post-exercise caloric expenditure like a full body workout...and nothing feels better than seeing the results you deserve that much quicker.

Get Your Triceps As Big As You Think They Are

If I did a sprint for every time I witnessed a person trying to build their triceps with push-downs, I would have a body of shredded proportions...boo-hoo me, the gym gods are not that kind. Tricep push- downs - like bicep curls, leg extensions and hamstring curls - are single joint motions, meaning the amount of weight one can push/pull is limited; and so, when you increase the weight, thinking that you'll be increasing your size, you actually call upon secondary muscles for re-enforcements, taking on the load that you should not have tackled.

A much more effective way to build your triceps is to do the close-grip bench press, using either a regular bar, an e-z bar (a kinder alternative for your wrists) or dumbbells (hold them using a neutral grip, ie palms facing each other), for variety is the spice of gym life. In doing this movement, your elbows should graze the sides of your rib cage, pause momentarily at the bottom of the range and extend back up at a controlled pace.

However, if you really want a balls-out 'n' brutal triceps mutilation technique, super set the above exercise with a parallel bar dip: it'll ouch you like a muthaf**ker!

Remember, there are very obviously, very clearly three heads to triceps muscle group - lateral, medial and long - so, every effort should be made to make it look like what the name implies.

Run More to Eat Less

Aside from amazing film and music, Great Britain produces other - (ummm) - great things...

Like a recent study that says boosting your aerobic activity to a more intense level helps to curb your appetite: GIV'ER LIVER! Apparently, running and other like exercises reduces the number of hunger hormones produced by your tummy for up to 3 hours...

So the next time you feel unbearable pangs and crave something naughty, go for a run instead and reap the double benefits of a good sweat.

Get Those Bigger Muscles

Are you working hard enough to warrant the results you THINK you deserve? 

Maybe, possibly...but! probably not - and this is through no fault of your own, as many of your strides toward a bigger, buffer, bodacious bod can be made off the gym floor, as well. You are merely a victim of the uninformed, from which you will now be granted sanctuary. To that end, follow the pointers below and watch your chest, arms - and ego! - swell...

1. Don't skip the basics: go for compound exercises (ie chest press, squats) instead of singular isolation exercises (ie cable flies, leg extensions) since using more muscle groups for an execise imposes greater strain on the body...and greater strains translates to greater gains.

2. Don't forget to rest: your muscles need 48-hours to recoup, so by engaging in extra activity (ie cardio, sports) your body will use the calories for more burning than building. To see the gains for which you're striving, keep your cardio to a minimum of 20 minutes, 3 times a week.

3. Don't starve yourself: IMMEDIATELY after your workout, you MUST eat a meal/shake comprised of high-carb and high protein - when you stop training, your body is busting its balls to convert glucose into glycogen, so that your muscles can rebuild themselves...without the magic concoction, your body will fight you, destroy you, bring you to your muscle-craving mercy and break down your muscles into amino acids which converts into glucose.

4. Don't skimp on sleep: this is basic and you already know it, but not enough people follow thru...though, those that do definitely reap the benefits. Deep sleep is essential for muscle recovery.

5. Don't go thirsty, don't waste your protein: to gain muscle, eating 1 gram of protein for every 2.2 pounds of body weight is a commonly accepted rule; however, this is only if the body is granted enough water intake with which to process the protein. By drinking 8 - 10 glasses a day, and dividing protein servings between 25 - 30 grams per meal, you help your body to perform optimally. 

Keep in mind that better muscles make better lovers...

Best Biceps Buddies

Sleeve popping biceps are crucial accessories for summer fashions...but how many curls can one person do before your body's neuro-system taps into your redundancy and refuses to make anymore improvements until you boost your game?

Not many...

So: the next time you're at the gym, getting ready to do yet ANOTHER 3 sets of 10 preacher curls, grab a like-minded gym bunny (ie read: competitive-size-hungry-muscle-monster) and help each other out by presenting a challenge.

Standing across from each other, perform one rep on a standard barbell curl - then pass it to your partner, who then performs a single rep. Next, it's your turn again and you hammer out two, then your partner follows suit...get the idea? It's a little dual to see who will give up first. Obviously, this starts off easy but, if performed to the best of your bicep-tastic abilities, will end in teary-eyed pain...and bigger guns: 

GIVER LIVER!

Big Bunches of Butts

As a gay man, there are very few things that get me going as much as a fine, meaty rump...high, round, perky and thick are all wonderful adjectives I like to attach to anyone who has worked/werq'd hard to achieve junk in the trunk.

Here's an exercise to help welcome yourself to the honorary fellowship of buxom, bodacious bottoms.

(Hehe!)

The Single-Leg Step-Up: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM2hfe3B9mk

The single-leg step-up is a great muscle booster for the hamstrings and glutes, and when these two muscles work together, a lovely lower-shelving action arises. The key is to make sure you're using a platform that will raise your leg's starting position to a 90 degree angle, such that your knee is in line with your hip...a bench or set of boxes as high as a park bench usually does the trick.

Placing the whole of one foot on the bench, transfer the weight of your body into that heel and push up so that your whole body lifts and your other foot comes off the floor. Focus on only using the 'lead' leg, using the other should balancing be required. As you are standing into the highest position, squeeze your glutes and push your hips slightly forward, breathing out as you do.

Just as important as your ascent onto the bench, is your descent into the starting position. As with so many other exercises, there is equal work to be performed during the eccentric phase of motion - therefore, slowly come back down and concentrate, again, on your 'lead' leg doing all the work.

For added muscle tear, place a weighted bar bell atop your shoulders or use dumb bells...and feel the burn.

Back in a New York State of Mind

One of my favorite parts about getting away from New York is coming back to it - most everyone I know has a constant love-hate, push-pull relationship with this city...a relationship that maximizes our best, insuring we realize our full potential - though sometimes to exhausting extremes. Taxi-ing over the tarmac at Newark yesterday and seeing my city's beautifully haunting, visually inspiring skyline creep into view gave me goose pimples, yet again. After all these years, that electricity tells me that I am home.

...and with home, comes routine - and with routine comes newfound vigor to attack the gym and continue for quest for my own body of death.

To help jump-start my body's engine, I'm going to introduce a 3-minute circuit into my weight training regime. To be performed in between every round of exercise sets, this will ignite the jolly ol' pints off my midsection. While I still exercised during my overseas venture, I did allow myself to indulge a wee bit and I played to great effect a proper English countryman who enjoyed his pie and ale.

Here are some examples of hurricane-like circuits, full of explosive movements and strength builders, all of which are to be performed at your highest intensity possible for 60 seconds.

Group 1: 

Skip rope

Scissor bench jumps*

Medicine ball Russian twists**

Push ups

Jump Squats***

* Scissor bench jumps: place your left foot on a bench, your right foot on the floor and in one movement, jump up and switch leg/feet position in midair.

** Medicine ball Russian twists: sit holding a medicine ball in front of your chest, lean back slightly, take your feet off the floor and rotate side to side, keeping the moving quick and smooth.

***Jump squats: stand with your feet shoulder width apart and lower your body into a squat position, holding for a moment before exploding as high as you can. 

Group 2:

Treadmill run

Step ups* 

Reverse crunches

Chin ups

Burpees**

*Step ups: place your left foot on a bench, then push your body up til both feet on are it, step down with your left and then repeat on your right.

** Burpees: squat and lean forward such that your hands are on the floor and you're on the balls of your feet; then, kick both legs back into a push-up position, finishing the movement by hoping feet back into a squat and jumping as high as you can. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_Dq_NCzj8M

Now I must set forth into the gorgeous humidity of New York City and sweat bucket loads even before I lift a single weight...it's good to be home.

Young@Heart

Saturday night was a fleeting moment in time that bestowed upon me one of the most blessed experiences of my life. Together with my friends James and Stephanie, I entered the auditorium at the Royal Northern College of Music in Manchester, England to hear the Young@Heart chorus.

To those of you who are not familiar with this inspiring group of rockin' seniors, I insist on the essential viewing that is the documentary Young@Heart. Capturing a year in the life of a choir whose members must be 73 or older, the audience joins their journey as they sing, and make their own, every artist from Coldplay and the Red Hot Chili Peppers to Bruce Springsteen and Sinead O'Connor. Of course, with an median age of 80, there are battles and tears - and triumph and tears - made all that more earnest, all that more humane, with the intimate and topical musical score.

...and so, on Saturday night, as the opening number 'Save Me A Place' (Fleetwood Mac) came to its sombre closing chords under the angelic guidance of Louise Canady, I began a journey as musically intense as I ever have...and was reminded consistently of the power of music, the power of hope and the power of yourself.

After the concert, my motley trio managed to invite ourselves to the after-party and become enamored by the spritely old souls and learn their tricks, their ponderings, their secrets on staying forever young:

Vitamins...

Facial creams...

EXERCISE!

and...

Music.

http://www.youngatheartchorus.com

Get Results, But Sans (that's French for 'without') Your Normal Burnout

Oh waa-waa! We are all busy and have commitments that press us to hurry our training sessions. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a shortcut to having the body of an Adonis...there are, however, some effective lessons you can take with you to the gym floor, before running out to your oh-so important dinner party:

1. Fuel Up

Sugar isn't always the enemy...so before you hit the gym, chug down some juice with a scoop of whey protein or grab a yogurt parfait - (yum!) - with granola and fruit. The concoction of carbs and protein will keep you going when otherwise you might say 'eff it' to the final few reps.

2. Intelligent Recovery

Don't rest on your laurels (aka ass) - after a hard, heavy set. Use your time at the gym to maximum benefit and combine pushing and pulling exercises, back to back, followed by a set for your core. While your body is resting from a pushing exercise (ie dumb bell shoulder press), you can give your shoulders a break whilst working a pulling exercise (ie pull ups). Cap it off with a plank or cable cross-overs or a host of other exercises and you're making a brilliant example of the superset philosophy.

3. Work E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G

By training all major muscle groups in every workout, you bolster the release of growth hormone and testosterone...which, as we all know, builds muscle and burns fat: WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! No matter what your workout regime may be - (3, 4 or 5 day split) - following this tiny trick of the trade will help you to reap the amazing benefits of what your body naturally stores for you...it's just a matter of knowing how to tap it.

4. Be Like Lisa Kudrow, Parker Posey and Toni Collette

From here on in, you shall be a clockwatcher: after every sequence of push-pull exercises, rest for 2 minutes, slowing reducing the rest period every week by 15-seconds. By reducing the time you spend recovering, you push your body to limits like you've never experienced...and it's pretty freaking awesome. 

Remember, if properly conducted, a workout need not take you any longer than an hour, an hour + a quarter...TOPS! If you are someone who spends two hours flirting around the gym, quit being a Chatty Cathy or...hire me.

Cardio Sex

Many thanks to my friend, Greg, for this tid bid of info!

For sex to be considered a cardiovascular exercise, it must - as with any other form of cardio - meet a certain criteria; namely, an increased heart rate and rhythmic motion of large muscle groups that require oxygen. Easy enough, yes?

So giddy up, rev your horse power and aim for 20-minute sessions, 3 - 5 times a week: lucky you!

If we were all so fortunate, I doubt there would be a need for training...and I would be out of a job.

On second thoughts, go celibate.

Sweaty Betty and Drippy Trippy

A tell-tale sign of a brilliant workout is your post-workout sweat factor...unfortunately, it really sucks ass when you go immediately to the office after your session and you find yourself equally as wet, or perhaps even more so, than you were whilst lifting...do you really want to be known at the water cooler as the person with hyperhidrosis?

To help prevent unwanted, yet entirely well deserved, underarm stains and Rorschach-like back splotches, you should take a cold shower. Of course, the first few minutes should be warm and soapy to kill of odor causing bacteria, but continually lower the water temperature until you feel your body's heat dwindle to a comfortable level...unless, you think your office mates are into that sorta thing.

If you continue to have excessive post-workout sweat, take a bit more time to cool down before your shower: a few extra minutes on a bike or a stretch mat is a great idea, though a luxury not many can afford...in which case, I suggest getting a head start on your emails and send off a few from your crackberry, drinking your protein shake before instead of after, etc