Gym Mix 9

A side note about this playlist: a great workout can be executed just as intensely to the passion of a female singer-songwriter as to the BMP of the latest Lady Ga-Ga-Ga-Gag-Me...so don't disregard a song solely on its more down-tempo'd beats:

1. Last Day of Our Acquaintance - Sinead O'Connor

2. Bloody Motherfucking Asshole - Martha Wainwright

3. Criminal - Fiona Apple

4. Wasted - Brandi Carlile

5. Why - Annie Lennox

6. Perfect - Alanis Morrissette

7. Precious Things - Tori Amos

8. Hold On - Sarah McLachlan

9. Nicest Thing - Kate Nash

10. We Belong Together (Mariah's Miracle Mix) - Mariah Carey/Peter Rauhofer 

Super Savvy Supplements

Walking into your local vitamin shop can be an intimidating hassle: the selection of repeated merchandise, the amazing claims of each brand, the TV adverts playing over in your head and, of course, the fevered recommendations of your all-knowing gym buddy. Sometimes I enter for one simple item and leave with a scheduled window-of-time for the delivery man.

One thing that will always set supplements apart in my book is whether they pose a risk to my health - in addition to their supposed benefit. Quite often, any info you read about a product is supplied by the company themselves and, therefore, will not  contain any literature that creates cause for concern. Lesson: do your research...or take my advice. Not one to dwell on the negative, below I list only the positives, the beacons of light and hope that will help you to obtain your own body of death, without actually risking it.

1. Multivitamin - surprisingly often overlooked by amateur bodybuilders, the importance of a multivitamin cannot be stressed enough. I recommend the HealthPak 100 from USANA. It's brilliance is too detailed to divulge here, so I'll offer a link...and if you are so inclined, I can order you some:

http://products.usana.com/en/products/us/essentials/health_pak.shtml

2. Creatine - no eureka, as research consistently shows that creatine increases muscle mass AND muscle strength. I recommend TRAC from MHP, immediately following your workouts: BOO-YAY, BITCHES.

3. L-Glutamine - the most abundant amino acid in your muscle tissue, that can see 40% depletion after a proper training session. I recommend Glutamine Peptide by Sports Science Research, taken ideally post-workout and pre-bed.

4. Natural Hormone Modifiers - the good stuff, the fun stuff, the stuff that we think and hope will make a huge difference...and does: Legally!! To boost testosterone, try Acetabolan II by Muscle Tech before bedtime and to boost growth hormone, try Alpha GPC by Chemi Nutraceutical about an hour before training and just before bedtime.

5. Protein - need I really explain? Thought not...just be aware that 2 grams of protein is the daily recommendation per kilo of body weight...(divide your lbs by 2.2 to get your weight in kilos)...so, at 95 kilos, I strive to eat 190 grams of protein a day, split over 6 meals. Personally, I recommend Myoplex, 100% Whey Protein or Muscle Milk, depending on personal preference for taste, consistency, etc etc. However, one suggestion I implore is to blend every shake with fruit, such that the sugar can help deliver the healing protein to your starving, well-deserving muscles.

Add these 5 supplements to your already kick-ass, Markie de Sade training routine and you're gun' kill it...with a skillet.

Fortify Your Heart

Fortunately, I am a heartless wretch and, therefore, mustn't worry about disease, cholesterol and other heart related ailments such as...ummm, emotion: hehe! This serves hugely beneficial when clients claim to be sucking in their last breaths of life, with their blood shot eyes trying to emote the pain of certain, imminent death...empathetic I am not.

However, if one does possess one of these hearts of which I speak, it is so incredibly important to take the most impeccable measures of care with it. These measures include controlled levels of stress (duh), not smoking (duh!), regular exercise (DUH!) and...particular dietary ingredients. Adding the following super-foods to your regular diet is a great way to start eating your way to a healthier heart:

1. Blueberries - delicious and brimming with enough antioxidents, fiber and vitamin C that you can forget your almost-nutritiously void glass of morning orange juice.

2. Salmon - not only a great source of protein, but is a brilliant source of heart-happy omega-3 fatty acids.

3. Soy - known for its protein, fiber and vitamins, but also shown to lower triglycerides, which helps to prevent cardiovascular disease.

4. Oatmeal - roughage and regularity...what more could you ask for in your breakfast? Perhaps, a seal of approval from the FDA that allows manufacturers to advertise oats as a way for you to lower your risk of heart disease. 

5. Spinach - the king of the vegetable world...and with just reason. Popeye was full of phytochemicals, vitamins, minerals (especially iron and folate), helping to combat loss of eyesight AND heart disease.

Five simple, tasty ways to ensure a happier, healthier heart: eat 'em, live 'em, love 'em.

Get Those Bigger Muscles

Are you working hard enough to warrant the results you THINK you deserve? 

Maybe, possibly...but! probably not - and this is through no fault of your own, as many of your strides toward a bigger, buffer, bodacious bod can be made off the gym floor, as well. You are merely a victim of the uninformed, from which you will now be granted sanctuary. To that end, follow the pointers below and watch your chest, arms - and ego! - swell...

1. Don't skip the basics: go for compound exercises (ie chest press, squats) instead of singular isolation exercises (ie cable flies, leg extensions) since using more muscle groups for an execise imposes greater strain on the body...and greater strains translates to greater gains.

2. Don't forget to rest: your muscles need 48-hours to recoup, so by engaging in extra activity (ie cardio, sports) your body will use the calories for more burning than building. To see the gains for which you're striving, keep your cardio to a minimum of 20 minutes, 3 times a week.

3. Don't starve yourself: IMMEDIATELY after your workout, you MUST eat a meal/shake comprised of high-carb and high protein - when you stop training, your body is busting its balls to convert glucose into glycogen, so that your muscles can rebuild themselves...without the magic concoction, your body will fight you, destroy you, bring you to your muscle-craving mercy and break down your muscles into amino acids which converts into glucose.

4. Don't skimp on sleep: this is basic and you already know it, but not enough people follow thru...though, those that do definitely reap the benefits. Deep sleep is essential for muscle recovery.

5. Don't go thirsty, don't waste your protein: to gain muscle, eating 1 gram of protein for every 2.2 pounds of body weight is a commonly accepted rule; however, this is only if the body is granted enough water intake with which to process the protein. By drinking 8 - 10 glasses a day, and dividing protein servings between 25 - 30 grams per meal, you help your body to perform optimally. 

Keep in mind that better muscles make better lovers...

Tasty Toppings - The Best and Worst Condiments

Nothing like a bit of garlic lard to add flavor to your meal...and inches to your waistline!

Avoid the pitfalls of poor condiment judgement by choosing wisely what you spread over your next meal. Here are some of my favorite alternatives to butter, mayo and full-fat salad dressings:

1. Hummmmmmus - the richness of mayo, but loaded with goodies like protein and fiber, instead of calories and fat.

2. Guacamole - trade in the bad fat of mayo for the good fat of guacamole.

3. Pesto - one of my favorite tasty delights, the olive oil and pine nut base is full of monounsaturated fat AND the basil is choked full of antioxidents.

Pay respect to my dietary motto: once on the lips, a lifetime on the hips...these are simple choices you can make to lighten your weight load, yet heighten your sensory load.

Best Biceps Buddies

Sleeve popping biceps are crucial accessories for summer fashions...but how many curls can one person do before your body's neuro-system taps into your redundancy and refuses to make anymore improvements until you boost your game?

Not many...

So: the next time you're at the gym, getting ready to do yet ANOTHER 3 sets of 10 preacher curls, grab a like-minded gym bunny (ie read: competitive-size-hungry-muscle-monster) and help each other out by presenting a challenge.

Standing across from each other, perform one rep on a standard barbell curl - then pass it to your partner, who then performs a single rep. Next, it's your turn again and you hammer out two, then your partner follows suit...get the idea? It's a little dual to see who will give up first. Obviously, this starts off easy but, if performed to the best of your bicep-tastic abilities, will end in teary-eyed pain...and bigger guns: 

GIVER LIVER!

Big Bunches of Butts

As a gay man, there are very few things that get me going as much as a fine, meaty rump...high, round, perky and thick are all wonderful adjectives I like to attach to anyone who has worked/werq'd hard to achieve junk in the trunk.

Here's an exercise to help welcome yourself to the honorary fellowship of buxom, bodacious bottoms.

(Hehe!)

The Single-Leg Step-Up: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM2hfe3B9mk

The single-leg step-up is a great muscle booster for the hamstrings and glutes, and when these two muscles work together, a lovely lower-shelving action arises. The key is to make sure you're using a platform that will raise your leg's starting position to a 90 degree angle, such that your knee is in line with your hip...a bench or set of boxes as high as a park bench usually does the trick.

Placing the whole of one foot on the bench, transfer the weight of your body into that heel and push up so that your whole body lifts and your other foot comes off the floor. Focus on only using the 'lead' leg, using the other should balancing be required. As you are standing into the highest position, squeeze your glutes and push your hips slightly forward, breathing out as you do.

Just as important as your ascent onto the bench, is your descent into the starting position. As with so many other exercises, there is equal work to be performed during the eccentric phase of motion - therefore, slowly come back down and concentrate, again, on your 'lead' leg doing all the work.

For added muscle tear, place a weighted bar bell atop your shoulders or use dumb bells...and feel the burn.

On...Bench Presses

I want you to re-think the bench press motion.

Instead of lowering the weight using your arms, think about SQUEEZING your shoulder blades together as you lower the weight. By pressing your back into the bench and retracting your shoulders, you'll load the tension onto your upper back. This allows you to press more weight with your chest, thus getting bigger tits, sooner.

(It also prevents injury to your shoulders, which is a plus as big as your bigger tits).

On...Never Going Hungry

Having just returned from the land of pints and pies, the sacred temple which is my body took a hiatus and enjoyed a mini-break from the Markie de Sade...an essential part of every gym bunny's regime! Not to say that I didn't remain active - having walked all over London with the obligatory daily-ish visit to my old gym - but my workouts were more like catch-ups and my diet teetered near the deathly edge of a gluttonous sloth...

I digress to my tendencies for hyperbole.

Anyway! My time away from a stricter regime has renewed my lust for health and upon return to my local Wholefoods in Chelsea, I stocked up on essentials to keep my typically insatiable appetite...satiated:

1. Almonds

2. Oatmeal

3. Salmon 

4. Quinoa

5. Black Beans

Together, these foods have enough muscle-building protein, rib-sticking fiber and healthy unsaturated fat to keep your cravings for more more more at bay...if all else fails, magnet a photo of obesity on your fridge door - works like a charm.

Gym Mix 8

1. Rebellion (Lies) - Arcade Fire

2. Downtown Mayors - You Say Party! We Say Die!

3. Lust for Life - Iggy Pop

4. Helicopter - Bloc Party

5. Give It Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers

6. In The End - Linkin Park

8. Bucky Done Gun - M.I.A.

9. I Want Your (Hands On Me) [BBC Radio's In Concert Series] - Sinead O'Connor

10. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana

On...Eating Yourself to Sleep

Sleeping had always been my worst enemy - it eluded and mocked me...occasionally bestowing the blessing of a swift arrival, but rarely staying long. To say I suffered from sleep deprivation that was hiccuped with hourly interruptions is a mild statement.

Then I discovered a few tricks...some to do with a supplement called GABA:

http://markarmstrongfitness.blogspot.com/2009/05/gaba-gaba-dooo.html

...and some to do with food - the power of food to induce a solid night of sleep seemed to good to be true, but upon careful case studies, I found many snacks that helped to mend my notorious poor sleeping habits. Here's a top 5 list:

1. A glass of red wine - avoid overindulging (and thereby avoid a hangover and dog breath) by enjoying the sleepy hormone melatonin found in a glass of red.

2. Banana (blended w/milk + honey) - combining the old-age remedy of milk and honey with the sleepy amino acid tryptophan and B vitamins will help you to rest easier.

3. Nuts/Seeds - packed with magnesium, aka nature's tranquilizer, nuts have a calming effect that help you to stay asleep.

4. Turkey - think of every Thanksgiving dinner and its repercussions on activity levels, which is due to tryptophan, a precursor to serotonin..

5. Tea - green (yes, green: the theanine counteracts the effects of caffeine) camomile and mint all possess their own natural sleeping aids

The perfect way to combine all of this? Some turkey and red wine for dinner, followed by a banana for dessert and capped off with a spot of tea before bed...happy zed-ing!

Back in a New York State of Mind

One of my favorite parts about getting away from New York is coming back to it - most everyone I know has a constant love-hate, push-pull relationship with this city...a relationship that maximizes our best, insuring we realize our full potential - though sometimes to exhausting extremes. Taxi-ing over the tarmac at Newark yesterday and seeing my city's beautifully haunting, visually inspiring skyline creep into view gave me goose pimples, yet again. After all these years, that electricity tells me that I am home.

...and with home, comes routine - and with routine comes newfound vigor to attack the gym and continue for quest for my own body of death.

To help jump-start my body's engine, I'm going to introduce a 3-minute circuit into my weight training regime. To be performed in between every round of exercise sets, this will ignite the jolly ol' pints off my midsection. While I still exercised during my overseas venture, I did allow myself to indulge a wee bit and I played to great effect a proper English countryman who enjoyed his pie and ale.

Here are some examples of hurricane-like circuits, full of explosive movements and strength builders, all of which are to be performed at your highest intensity possible for 60 seconds.

Group 1: 

Skip rope

Scissor bench jumps*

Medicine ball Russian twists**

Push ups

Jump Squats***

* Scissor bench jumps: place your left foot on a bench, your right foot on the floor and in one movement, jump up and switch leg/feet position in midair.

** Medicine ball Russian twists: sit holding a medicine ball in front of your chest, lean back slightly, take your feet off the floor and rotate side to side, keeping the moving quick and smooth.

***Jump squats: stand with your feet shoulder width apart and lower your body into a squat position, holding for a moment before exploding as high as you can. 

Group 2:

Treadmill run

Step ups* 

Reverse crunches

Chin ups

Burpees**

*Step ups: place your left foot on a bench, then push your body up til both feet on are it, step down with your left and then repeat on your right.

** Burpees: squat and lean forward such that your hands are on the floor and you're on the balls of your feet; then, kick both legs back into a push-up position, finishing the movement by hoping feet back into a squat and jumping as high as you can. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_Dq_NCzj8M

Now I must set forth into the gorgeous humidity of New York City and sweat bucket loads even before I lift a single weight...it's good to be home.

Young@Heart

Saturday night was a fleeting moment in time that bestowed upon me one of the most blessed experiences of my life. Together with my friends James and Stephanie, I entered the auditorium at the Royal Northern College of Music in Manchester, England to hear the Young@Heart chorus.

To those of you who are not familiar with this inspiring group of rockin' seniors, I insist on the essential viewing that is the documentary Young@Heart. Capturing a year in the life of a choir whose members must be 73 or older, the audience joins their journey as they sing, and make their own, every artist from Coldplay and the Red Hot Chili Peppers to Bruce Springsteen and Sinead O'Connor. Of course, with an median age of 80, there are battles and tears - and triumph and tears - made all that more earnest, all that more humane, with the intimate and topical musical score.

...and so, on Saturday night, as the opening number 'Save Me A Place' (Fleetwood Mac) came to its sombre closing chords under the angelic guidance of Louise Canady, I began a journey as musically intense as I ever have...and was reminded consistently of the power of music, the power of hope and the power of yourself.

After the concert, my motley trio managed to invite ourselves to the after-party and become enamored by the spritely old souls and learn their tricks, their ponderings, their secrets on staying forever young:

Vitamins...

Facial creams...

EXERCISE!

and...

Music.

http://www.youngatheartchorus.com

Live from London: A Note on Independence Day Eating

So you consumed approximately 3500 calories between noon and 2pm yesterday - stopping only because the mere thought of another morcel of hot dog was enough to make you hack everything up...(hmmm, on second thought, file that idea away for next year)...

Consequently, you're feeling horrendously guilt-ridden for the 1 hamburger, 2 hot dogs, 3 cupcakes, 4 sides and 5 brewskies...as you damn well should. Unfortunately, this morning rendered you still unable to move and your post-gorge workout has been delayed 'til Monday.

I'm here to tell you that for that one afternoon of debauchery, your payment is appromixately 5 hours of maximum-inclined treadmill walking at a speed of 3.0...or a 2.5 hour, overall body, interval circuit training session with me.

Now: what are you waiting for?

Get Results, But Sans (that's French for 'without') Your Normal Burnout

Oh waa-waa! We are all busy and have commitments that press us to hurry our training sessions. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a shortcut to having the body of an Adonis...there are, however, some effective lessons you can take with you to the gym floor, before running out to your oh-so important dinner party:

1. Fuel Up

Sugar isn't always the enemy...so before you hit the gym, chug down some juice with a scoop of whey protein or grab a yogurt parfait - (yum!) - with granola and fruit. The concoction of carbs and protein will keep you going when otherwise you might say 'eff it' to the final few reps.

2. Intelligent Recovery

Don't rest on your laurels (aka ass) - after a hard, heavy set. Use your time at the gym to maximum benefit and combine pushing and pulling exercises, back to back, followed by a set for your core. While your body is resting from a pushing exercise (ie dumb bell shoulder press), you can give your shoulders a break whilst working a pulling exercise (ie pull ups). Cap it off with a plank or cable cross-overs or a host of other exercises and you're making a brilliant example of the superset philosophy.

3. Work E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G

By training all major muscle groups in every workout, you bolster the release of growth hormone and testosterone...which, as we all know, builds muscle and burns fat: WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! No matter what your workout regime may be - (3, 4 or 5 day split) - following this tiny trick of the trade will help you to reap the amazing benefits of what your body naturally stores for you...it's just a matter of knowing how to tap it.

4. Be Like Lisa Kudrow, Parker Posey and Toni Collette

From here on in, you shall be a clockwatcher: after every sequence of push-pull exercises, rest for 2 minutes, slowing reducing the rest period every week by 15-seconds. By reducing the time you spend recovering, you push your body to limits like you've never experienced...and it's pretty freaking awesome. 

Remember, if properly conducted, a workout need not take you any longer than an hour, an hour + a quarter...TOPS! If you are someone who spends two hours flirting around the gym, quit being a Chatty Cathy or...hire me.

Gym Mix 7

1. Stockholm Syndrome - Muse

2. Bulletproof - La Roux

3. Paris Is Burning - Ladyhawke

4. Dog Days Are Over - Florence and the Machine

5. Heavy Cross - The Gossip

6. Be Mine - Robyn

7. Astounded - Bran Van 3000

8. Dance Me to the End of Love - Misstress Barbara

9. So Human - Lady Sovereign

10. Mr Cab Driver - Lenny Kravitz

On...Tempo

Remember, bitches: this ain't no race. 

If you're the type to rush through a workout, you're doing a huge injustice to the hour commitment you have made to bettering yourself...in other words: DON'T CHEAT! T a k e   y o u r   t i m e...feel and focus on every rep...hold and squeeze the contraction, imagining you're home in front of your mirror, flexing and posing...these few extra seconds will make a world of difference to your efforts.

Some fitness terminology for you to make your own:

In a chest press, you bring to bar toward your chest in the ECCENTRIC phase of motion in a slow 1 - 2- 3 - 4 count and HOLD it in the ISOMETRIC phase by keeping it slightly above your nipple for a 1 - 2 - 3 count, before exploding back off your chest in the CONCENTRIC phase of motion in a 1 count. Following such a template will help to create more microscopic tears in the muscle fibers...ultimately, creating bigger and stronger muscles.

...and we know what bigger and stronger muscles ultimately leads to...

Smaller t-shirts.

And more sex.

(Apparently)

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa

Over the past week, I fell down on my bloggersizing duties - t'was gay pride in NYC and I found my exercise salvation on many a dance floor instead...my sincere apologies, but! to make amends, I plan on making several postings today - especially since I head out of town tomorrow for the world premiere of a client's opera.

On such a weekend, we may find ourselves partying a bit more than usual, staying up a bit later than usual and despair that our general routine of wellness has run amuck. Generally, I give a big booness to such debachery, but a big release and celebration can sometimes be a great thing...just in moderation. We strive on so many levels, all year long, to be supreme beings of beings of health, and, yet, only takes a few days to feel as though we've become morbid beacons of the most grotesquely unfit. One way in which to switch this about is to start from the inside out...a fine detox, a potently fibrous  regime, a great daily multivitamin and some fine skin care can quickly help to retrieve the stunning object of perfection lost in club land only a few nights prior.

Check out the amazing products at http://www.usana.com/dotCom/products/index.jsp

With this weekend's 6am mornings - (6am where I see the sun rise, not 6am where the sun wakes me) - and arsenal of markaritas,  my face should resemble that of a 13-year old boy embarking on his journey into manhood, but thanks to the ridiculously potent, pharmacutical grade quality of these skin care and nutritional supplements, I am once again my glowing self: 

WERQ.