On...Escalating Density Training

A little bump to get over the hump, that is known as Wednesday:

Escalating Density Training (from here on in referred to as EDT) is an effective, albeit odd approach, to getting stronger and leaner. Instead of the traditional push-to-vein-poppin-failure method, forgoing the standard drop-set/rest-pause manipulations you've heard time and time again, the EDT program, created by renowned strength coach Charles Staley - (YES! I KNOW! CHARLES!? WE LOVE CHARLES!) - will have you experiencing less pain than you're normally accustomed...and the best part? It will only take you 15 minutes.

NOT to say, however, that the intensity is any less - this isn't for those looking for a easy fix...this isn't for mussies. It's for those gym bunnies who are serious about shocking their body composition to new altered states.

Here's what to do:

- pick 2 opposing muscle groups (ie chest/back, shoulders/legs, biceps/triceps, calfs/traps, etc)

- select, according to your goal, your weight and number of reps you will do per set (ie strength: 4 - 6, size: 10 - 12, endurance: 40+) and half that number (for example, if your goal is size, and your normally press 2 x 45lbs plates on a bench press for a 10 rep max, half of the rep range would now be 5 - 6 reps/set, still pushing 2 x 45lbs plates)

- starting your stopwatch, perform alternating sets of selected exercises, with as much rest as needed in between, which will be quite little at the beginning; when the upper limit of the rep goal becomes to heavy (ie for size, 5 - 6), drop down (ie to 4 - 5)

- after 15 minutes, rest and take note of how many reps you did so you can compare to your results the following week

It's ok to do this several times a week - pairing up different muscle groups, of course each time you workout.

Remember, EDT is NOT about total failure - although, you'll feel a bit of it toward the end of your 15 minutes! EDT is about getting bigger, leaner and stronger via intense, if relatively brief, training sessions where you set up competition with the only person who matters: yourself.

Kick it.

On...The Muscle Confusion Principle

You've heard it before and you're going to hear it again:

Add variety to your workout - switch up the rep count! Play with the tempo! Do a full body assault!

Too often I speak to frustrated gym bunnies who are not seeing the results they think they deserve - and when I switch into trainer mode and ask them the last time they challenged their routine to something fresh and new, they inevitably moan, whine and confess:

'I knooooow...'

Clearly, they don't know (ENOUGH)...and if they do, clearly (again), they are not as interested in the results as they so desperately claim.

The Wieder Muscle Confusion Principle states that by constantly altering the acute variables of your workout (ie number of sets vs reps, exercise choice, exercise order and length of rest) you will keep your muscles constantly guessing as to what is coming next. Not only does this prevent stalling plateaus, it helps to prevent you from falling asleep on the gym floor due to complete boredom...how long have you been doing that same bench press?

In a study conducted at the Arizona State University at Tempe, researchers found that subjects following the Muscle Confusion Principle for 12-weeks increased their bench press and leg press strength by 100% more than those who followed as they were, in a boring, linear program that even allowed for a bit of change every 2 weeks.

Who knew?! You did, apparently...now do something about it.

You're Nuts - How Fat Is Good For You

Once upon a time nutritionists would cast evil warnings on the innocent nut community.

Eat nut and eat fat, Fatty McFatterton.

Today, it is no revelation that they are retracting those statements, for nuts are actually filled with healthy fats...and can even help you to lose those f**kin' love handles! Add to that an alright dosage of protein and you have yourself a very convenient salvation to the 4 o'clock munchies. However, while most nuts do contain the healthy monounsaturated fats, just one of the species contains the oh-so essential omega-3 fat, alpha-linolenic acid...

...and it's NOT the almond.

Say hello to your new snack-tastic buddy, the walnut.

Compared to the almond, which contains only a trace of alpha-blah-blah-blah, walnuts are bursting with 3 grams/ounce (approximately 14 halves) of the stuff!

A recent study by researchers at the University of Newcastle showed that omega-3 fatty acids are important for keeping body fat away. A group of 124 men and women were placed into 3 categories, based on their BMI (body mass index): healthy weight, overweight and obese. After a 10 hour fast, blood samples were taken and measured for concentration levels of omega-3.

The report concluded that the overweight and obese subjects had significantly lower levels of omega-3 fatty acids in their blood when compared to the healthy-weight subjects. Accordingly, the lower the scores in omega-3 levels correlated to higher BMI's, waist sizes and hip circumferences.

Hello, October - Please go back and be September: A Bedroom Workout for Cold Mornings

I'm listening to Jay-Z's 'Empire State of Mind' a lot this past week...

And at 5:15 this morning, as I checked the temperature to find it was a chilling 53 degrees, I indignantly ignored my mother's concerned voice (of reason) ringing inside my head and stubbornly put on my gym shorts, instead of my cute new Adidas pants.

'...and in the winter gets cold en vogue with your skin out...'

For those mornings when the air hits you with the chill of your last lover and the gym seems to be as far away as next summer, get over it and get moving. If those words of inspiration fall as flat of Jillian MIchael's onslaught of stirring four-letter hoorays, then know you can have a pretty good workout on your bedroom floor.

(Mind. Out. Of. Gutter.)

Get down and give yourself 20...the at home push-up can work you as hard and effective as any bench press at the gym, with a few simple tweaks. Read on for a four simple chest blitzing ideas:

1. Sloooooooow down! Controlling the speed of movement during any exercise is highly beneficial when done correctly and the press up offers many opportunities. Lower yourself over a 10-second count and pause in the bottom position for three seconds before exploding upwards.

2. Arranging your hands just inside shoulder width, so that your elbows track closely to the torso throughout the movement, will focus on the triceps more intensely than typical extension exercises. Bigger arms + bigger chest = gorgeousness.

3. Positioning your hands four to five inches wider than shoulder width will switch the focus to your chest and make your pecs burn like your last bout of syphilis.

4. Lifting one foot off the ground (about 3 inches) and holding it while executing a traditional push up makes for some tit-tastic fun. This increases recruitment of abdominal muscles as your core works to make up for lost of stability. Alternate feet every 5 to 10 reps and make sure that each side gets an equal number of reps to prevent imbalance. As always, keep your hips in line with your torso and do not sag towards the floor.

Now, you may go back to bed.

Ab-a-licious: Refreshing Your Take on Abdominal Work

September is typically the second busiest time of year for a gym. Runner up to the post-holiday season, autumn sees gym bunnies ready to pounce back into action after a summer of reaping the benefits of their hard work (ie

One course of action every client wants to pursue is the attack on a six pack: SIX PACK ATTACK!

So, take a seat and pay attention to some simple adjustments you can make in your quest for a perfectly sculpted midsection...a refresher course in ab-bersizes is about to begin:

(And remember, just because you can do 200 crunches doesn't mean that you deserve ripples - haven't you been doing the same exercise for, like, forever? You body IS a machine and will quickly put to muscle memory the regime you execute every week, with your eyes closed).

1. One of the most simple and effective ways of changing a crunch (especially if you're working out from home or a hotel room) involves this cunning trick - grab a towel, roll it up and place it under your lower back; this gently curves your back - forcing your abs to stretch a little further at the starting position and to contract to a greater degree when you crunch.

2. Get on the ball with ball crunching - keep your knees bent and your feet flat and hold that medicine ball just above your head. Now crunch up to bring your shoulder blades off the floor. Hold for a count of two and lower again for 20 reps.

3. The path to a lick-worthy stomach involves using the rest of your body, as well.. Although they are not typically related to abs-focused exercises, SQUATS and DEADLIFTS work the core muscles since your abs need to be strong to support your body when lifting heavy weights and impressing fellow gym bunnies.

4. Rest. Rest is good. Rest is necessary. Your ab muscles are like every other muscle in your body and are subject to the ill-effects of overtraining. Mind you, they can be worked with a bit more frequency than larger muscle groups, but by no means should they be made to work at hour-long intervals 3 times a week.

5. Abs are 90% diet, 10% exercise. Enough said! Just because you workout like a possessed fiend does not entitle you to eat whatever you like and still expect the results worthy of all your hard work on the gym floor.

According to my calender, there are only nine more months 'til summer. No time like the present: we had better get working.

WERQ.

Call The Zoo Keeper - The Pythons Are Out!

I want a lot out of life. It would be nice and calming to honestly say that I'm satisfied with the simple pleasures - (which I am!) - but I suffer from the bigger-better-more-more syndrome.

Two of the things included on this (expansive) precious list of bigger, better, more and more are pipe-like biceps and trunk-like calves...the perpetual quest of many gym bunnies. I'm actually sorta-kinda-almost happy with my chest and back since, a few weeks ago, a charming and drunken Provincetown gent slobbered to me that he had nicknamed me 'Slab' due to the busty nature of Pamela and Jenna (left boob, right boob, respectively). Bless the power of 7 Planter's Punches.

Anyhow, here are some tips on how to add size and strength to your arms - and remember, it doesn't necessarily mean doing arm exercises:

- do more chin-ups! I know, this is easier said than done, but try not to think about pulling yourself up when you do chinups; instead, imagine pulling your elbows down - promise: the exercise will seem easier

- work opposing arm groups groups! Training biceps/triceps back-to-back allows one muscle to work while the other is resting...better still, you won't need as much rest time between sets and you get on to the rest of your day sooner

- pretend you're home and flex! When doing standing arm curls, flex at the top of the motion and completely straighten your arms at the bottom, by flexing your triceps at the end of each repetition...this ensures that you work the muscle through its entire range of motion

- flick the wrist! Bending your wrists forces work your biceps harder - so make sure to extend them backward slightly (and hold them that way) while you do arm curls

Did You Know...

Fun fitness facts for this Wednesday morning:

- if you're thirsty, you're already dehydrated - which leads to fatigue and will impede your ability to maximize your workout

- the optimal way to gain lean mass is though anaerobic AND about 20 - 30 minutes of aerobic exercise

- it takes approximately 18 minutes of aerobic exercise to begin burning fat...so don't think that by just popping on a cardio machine for 30 minutes in the morning is going to yield the results you crave

- every extra pound you gain puts 4x the stress on your knees

- caffeine not only provides an energy boost, but also improves mental intensity and focus during your training

A nice easy way to start your hump day, feeling accomplished with the acquisition of 5 new bits of USEFUL information...

Rise and Shine! Train Earlier, Go Further

It's 8:49 on a Friday nite and I'm home writing on my blog...hmmmm.

Not that I have a problem with laying on my bed, (alone) in my boxers and on my computer - I'm actually counting the minutes to my eBay auction finale so that I can go to bed and wake up super early for a brilliant Saturday morning run.

(CoughahemLOSERcough!)

A study published in the journal Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise found that the best time to increase your cardio resistance is the morning. It was discovered that your core-body temperature is lowest three hours after you wake up, which improves endurance. When nine cyclists were put on stationary bikes in a hot, humid room they were able to push themselves 5.3 minutes longer at 6.45am than at 6.45pm because that cooler body temperature delays overheating.

Not only do you go further, you also jump start your metabolism for the day - another great reason to wake up shouting 'Rise and shine!'

Peppermint Power: Who Knew?!

The nose knows.

In a recent study, inhaling the scent of peppermint every couple of hours helped people eat less overall - and eat better! (This appears to be a much more attractive alternative to poppers.) By the end of the 2-week study, the people who had sniffed peppermint every couple of hours during the day had also consumed fewer calories and eaten less fat, less saturated fat, and less sugar than the nonsniffers did.

As a added feature, Mother Nature has decreed that peppermint also reduces feelings of hunger:

BONUS!

I imagine in next year's haste for a beach body, there will be an increase in the use mysterious inhalants...

Fat O'Clock

Dear Trainer Mark,

Does eating after a certain time cause weight gain? Sometimes I work late, have social obligations, etc and can't eat 'til well after 8pm.

Ate O'Clock

Dear AO,

It doesn't matter what time of day you eat; it's how much you eat during the whole day and how much exercise you do that makes you gain or lose weight...no matter when you eat your meals, your body will store extra calories as FAT! So, if you come home after 8pm, you should still eat dinner. Just choose smart: aim for a meal of protein and vegetables rather than one that is laden with carbohydrates.

...and if, like me, you crave bedtime snacks, make sure you think about what you've already eaten that day and build your snack around that. Moreover, try not to snack while doing other things like watching television, playing video games, or using the computer...being pre-occupied with watching Glee or kicking digital ass makes it too easy to overeat. For ideas on late snacking ch-ch-check out my previous entry:

http://markarmstrongfitness.blogspot.com/2009/04/midnight-monster-first-grab-then-guilt.html

Hope this helps!

Rock on,

Trainer Mark

Sometimes, It's Good to Fail

You know that feeling...

...when you're at the end of a set...

...your muscles can't possibly move another inch...

...your face is contorted beyond recognition of even the slightest appeal...

...and the burn engulfing your body is worse than your last case of syphilis?

Congratulations on achieving total muscle failure! If said-sensation is foreign to you, read on and try to mimic it in your next workout; for, in order to produce recognizable growth, the muscle must be overloaded...which creates micro-tears in the muscle, which, subsequently, are repaired, which, subsequently, grow back bigger and better than ever before!

Sometimes working to failure can seem like a scary and unattractive venture - threat of bodily harm and facial mutilation does little for motivation. However, there are certain ways to achieve failure, without risking your ego and sex life:

1. CHEAT - on occasion, be naughty and cheat...a few 'sloppy' reps are ok during the concentric phase (ie contracting the muscle), as long as you're able to maintain form during the eccentric phase (ie lengthening the muscle).

2. DROP SETS - after you've performed the last rep of a set, grab a weight 50% lighter than what you were using and burn it out with as many reps as you can.

3. REDUCE TIME BETWEEN SETS - simple enough, no?

You need not combine all three principles at the same time to your training...there is such a thing as taking failure too far - unless you're like Spicoli.

On...Water

Just an teeny-tiny entry on this post-summer Tuesday, for those who may have enjoyed the laborious days of this past weekend a wee bit too much - and I am definitely not pointing fingers, for I am as black as the kettle.

Duh: water is essential - for life and whatnot. Personally, a big part of that 'whatnot' is muscle growth..

Since muscle is composed of almost 75% water, being even slightly cotton-mouthed will affect its progress. For obvious, if not necessary, reasons, I enjoy a Smart Water...for it is also electrolyte-enhanced, which helps the body to remain hydrated.

Tabata Training: Kill Yourself in 4 Minutes

Tabata training was created by Izumi Tabata at the National Institute of Fitness and Sports in Tokyo...those crazy Japanese, they know more than electronics. I've been playing with timed interval training with my clients of late and was tickled pink when I later read a bit on Tabata's own developments, considering his esteem and the little Ph.D. after his name.

Basically, your sets are not broken down into defined number of repetitions, but rather into a 2:1 ration of 20 second intervals of work vs. 10 seconds of rest.

First, you select your method of torture...stick to compound exercises such as bench press, deadlift or squat. Next up, you do a 5-minute warm on a bike to make sure your blood is properly flowing and your muscles are loose...now comes the fun part:

- do the first 'set' of your exercise for 20 seconds; forget about counting and just bang out as many reps as you can without sacrificing good form

- rest for 10 seconds

- repeat the above two steps for four minutes and, if performed properly, you won't want/need to do any more

Remember, since you'll be fatiguing quickly, you will need to pick a lighter weight than what you normally lift...put your bruised ego aside, because after this set the only sore spot will be your muscles.

Extract Fat with Green Tea Extract?

We've all heard miraculous of fat-burning remedies that are merely an over-the-counter purchase away...and, in recent weeks, you've maybe even heard of FDA recalls on such-said products - (yes, I'm talking to you Hydroxycut) - with claims of horrific liver damage.

With that in mind, there is no short-cut...the formula for losing weight is the same as it always will be: burn more calories than you take in. There is, however, a NATURAL and HEALTHY product that consistently proves itself to be a worthwhile aid in spiking metabolism and burning fat. Green tea extract, whether in powder or liquid form does what many of it competitors claim to, but without harmful consequences or flat-out lies...just, don't expect miracles, as hard work and diet are your ultimate weapons of choice - remember, these products are exactly as they are branded: aids, aiding you to reach your goals that you are already accomplishing on your own.

So forget about Alli, fuck Hoodia and don't even bother trying to pronounce pyruvate.

On...Creatine

I'm chilling out to Brandi Carlile on the train shuttling me back to New York after an extraordinarily blessed Labor Day Weekend in Provincetown, Massachusetts. One might say I had too many Planter's Punches...and Midori Coladas...and Mark-a-ritas...and Patron shots...but I say it resurrects faltering vigor, pushing me to hit the gym and take on my new training regime for the new fall season.

Since it is the start of something new, I thought it might be fun to try something else new-ish. It's been about 6 years since I've used creatine as an intrinsic part of my supplement plan...it's a product surrounded by bullet points of truths and fallacies. Here are the most common:

Fact:

- your body produces its own creatine

- creatine makes your muscles bigger and stronger

- creatine can increase endurance

- 2 - 5 grams/day is plenty; avoid bloating by paying attention to your body's reaction and adjust amount accordingly

Fiction:

- taking creatine jeopardizes your health

- creatine produces identical results in everyone

- creatine works all by itself (ie you still have to kill it in the gym)

According to Shawn Talbott, director of research at www.supplementwatch.com, it's best to take creatine before a workout and, preferably, have it mixed with a carb/protein shake. The sugar in the carbs will ensure speedy delivery of the creatine and amino acids (ie protein) to the muscles, thereby increasing muscle protein synthesis by 800 percent...

WERQ!

You Don't Know Squat!

Of all the gym cliches that are worthy of repeating, the chicken-leg stereotype truly stands the test of time. I've been in the gym environment for 22 years...and for 22 years I have seen the same perplexing craftsmanship: a stunningly, beautifully, chiseled upper body being supported by little wooden pegs, looking as though they belong to my grandmother.

Gym bunnies, beware! Few things are as unappealing to the discriminating eye as an unbalanced body - my clients often joke with me that I am far too harsh on those whose calfs are not viewable from front-on...oops: my weakness revealed. Lower-leg aside, the best way, the most effective way, to an impeccably sculpted quad-ham-rump is with the squat. There is no escape route, no magical potion, no gift to the gym god, that will allow you to have what you want without the squat.

To that end, here are some points on taking that squat to the next squa-tastic level:

1. Pause for growth - as you lower yourself down as usual, stop at the bottom and hold for 1-2 seconds, then explode up to the standing position. Watch

2. Lift more weight - by placing the bar lower on your back, where the posterior delts create a shelf on your back, you will be able to handle more poundage. Make sure to take a wider stance and watch your squats graduate from regular to POWER.

3. Fast, faster, faster - move the weight back to standing position as fast as possible requires more muscle fiber recruitment.

4. Rep it up - don't be afraid that more reps, less weight will leave you with under developed rump. Sometimes, pushing a lighter weight for a count of 20 reps will help you to break thru plateaus by tapping into new muscle fibers. Try picking a weight that you can easily squat for 12 reps and then dig into your inner sanctum of strength and will to push out another 8 - it's perfectly fine to pause at the top of the motion and rest for a few moments before going back down.

Now, go deep or go home - for big legs are the new black.

On...Warming Up

Don't be a cold-bodied bitch.

WARM UP!

I know, I know...I too can find warm-ups tedious and boring - I just wanna jump in and tear it up! However, warmer muscles produce bigger gains. When a muscle is excited, it can exert more force, thus allowing you to train with heavier weights.

It's important to live by the 6 P's: Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. Basically, if your body isn't warm and prepped, your efforts will not reach their maximum limit. Personally, I like to emulate the work of my imminent session..and since I am partial to total-body workouts, I do a circuit of squats, push ups and rows. While this little routine is crucial to the success of my workout, it also jump starts my heart rate, releases my endorphines and sets me on my big sweaty mission with further drive and focus.

Besides, no body likes an ice princess...

Gym Mix 10

1. So What'chu Want - The Beastie Boys

2. Happy - Fischerspooner

3. Wolf Like Me - TV on the Radio

4. Bullet and a Target - Citizen Cope

5. Fell in Love with a Girl - White Stripes

6. Hypnotize - Notorious B.I.G.

7. Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner - Fall Out Boy

8. Hurt - Nine Inch Nails

9. Love Like Winter - AFI

10. Time to Dance - Panic! At the Disco

I Dunno: Tip for Shoulder Press

Increase the benefits of your shoulder presses by adding a shrug at the top of the movement - as if you were trying to touch your shoulders to your ears...just make sure not to lock your elbows. This trick will boost your sculpting results because you'll be moving through a fuller range of motion compared to just pressing the weights up and down.

One Simple Rule

Keep your workouts balanced and whole. I plead with you not to approach your training as most people do - (do you want to look like MOST people?) - and select one, maybe two, body parts on which to brutalize. Yes, this method has served you relatively well until now, but relatively well doesn't always get you laid. Instead, view your body as what is truly is: a wholistic engine that functions as a powerhouse unit.

When compared to a total-body workout, individual body part splits are inefficient. Therefore, your new regime should include four components EVERY TIME you hit the gym: push (pressing motions), pull (rowing motions/chin ups), legs and core.

Nothing burns through glycogen stores and causes post-exercise caloric expenditure like a full body workout...and nothing feels better than seeing the results you deserve that much quicker.

Get Your Triceps As Big As You Think They Are

If I did a sprint for every time I witnessed a person trying to build their triceps with push-downs, I would have a body of shredded proportions...boo-hoo me, the gym gods are not that kind. Tricep push- downs - like bicep curls, leg extensions and hamstring curls - are single joint motions, meaning the amount of weight one can push/pull is limited; and so, when you increase the weight, thinking that you'll be increasing your size, you actually call upon secondary muscles for re-enforcements, taking on the load that you should not have tackled.

A much more effective way to build your triceps is to do the close-grip bench press, using either a regular bar, an e-z bar (a kinder alternative for your wrists) or dumbbells (hold them using a neutral grip, ie palms facing each other), for variety is the spice of gym life. In doing this movement, your elbows should graze the sides of your rib cage, pause momentarily at the bottom of the range and extend back up at a controlled pace.

However, if you really want a balls-out 'n' brutal triceps mutilation technique, super set the above exercise with a parallel bar dip: it'll ouch you like a muthaf**ker!

Remember, there are very obviously, very clearly three heads to triceps muscle group - lateral, medial and long - so, every effort should be made to make it look like what the name implies.

Run More to Eat Less

Aside from amazing film and music, Great Britain produces other - (ummm) - great things...

Like a recent study that says boosting your aerobic activity to a more intense level helps to curb your appetite: GIV'ER LIVER! Apparently, running and other like exercises reduces the number of hunger hormones produced by your tummy for up to 3 hours...

So the next time you feel unbearable pangs and crave something naughty, go for a run instead and reap the double benefits of a good sweat.

Keep 'Em Tucked - Tip for Bench Press

Dear Trainer Mark,

When doing bench press: should my elbows be tucked closer to my body or flared out?

Captain Peacock

Dear CP,

Keep 'em tucked - while flaring your elbows out DOES isolate the chest better, it also limits the weight you can press AND puts you at risk for injury. When you broaden you elbows out, you lengthen the distance between your upper arm and your shoulder blade, resulting in shoulder problems that are suffered by gym bunnies all over the world...so unless you're actually trying to injure yourself, keep your elbows snug to your body...even more so, you will start lifting heavier and seeing the results you want: WERQ!

Rock on,

Trainer Mark

Save Yourself 600 Calories with a MARKARITA!

It's humid and unbearable sticky and in the middle of a New York August, I sometimes wish I was still stuck in the frozen ice barrens of America's hat.

Then I realize it's the heat talking and I set my sights on a refreshing evening beverage, instead...

Summer cocktail of choice, hands down, is a margarita - on a simmering night, a frozen one holds miraculous cures from a long day of debilitating temperatures; however, the 700 calories are the last things a waistline that has worked so hard to achieve beach-ready status should be consuming with three weekends of strutting still beckoning.

To that end, I enjoy the MARKARITA! A shot - (or two) - of Patron Silver tequila, topped off with some soda water and a few squeezes of fresh lime juice, provides a welcomed and healthy option to the calorie-ladened, sugar-brimmed margarita.

You will also notice a mysterious absence of a dreadful hangover the next morning should you consume more than you should - thanks to the lack of sugar...and now, on that note, a thanks to me, please.

GRRR: TESTOSTERONE!

BIGGER MUSCLES!

INCREASED MOTIVATION!

COPIOUS SEX-CAPADES!

Yes, the benefits of a boosted testosterone level reach far and wide, making for huge smiles all around. Unfortunately, testosterone produced by the body begins a natural, annual decline of 1-2% after the age of 30. 

One way to naturally increase the body's testosterone levels is to consume foods that are high in zinc. The king of such foods is oysters, which not only jacks testosterone, but also aids in semen production: hello, aphrodisiac, meet cream pie.

Another great source of zinc is animal protein, particularly red meat and poultry. Vegetarians needn't worry, either, as they can dine on beans, nuts, milk, yogurt and cottage cheese, all of which are brimming with an overzealous sex drive...err, I mean zinc.

Moreover, diets low in omega-3 fatty acids - (such as that found in salmon or my pill box) - and high in simple sugars are shown to negatively are proven to negatively affect testosterone production...but, of course, you knew that already, didn't you?

Moral of the story already told a million other ways before: eat healthy and reap the benefits - this is merely another twist...another nugget of knowledge with which to move forward and create the reality you seek.

Now go forth and...

Get big! Go hard! Have (more) sex!

Gym Mix 9

A side note about this playlist: a great workout can be executed just as intensely to the passion of a female singer-songwriter as to the BMP of the latest Lady Ga-Ga-Ga-Gag-Me...so don't disregard a song solely on its more down-tempo'd beats:

1. Last Day of Our Acquaintance - Sinead O'Connor

2. Bloody Motherfucking Asshole - Martha Wainwright

3. Criminal - Fiona Apple

4. Wasted - Brandi Carlile

5. Why - Annie Lennox

6. Perfect - Alanis Morrissette

7. Precious Things - Tori Amos

8. Hold On - Sarah McLachlan

9. Nicest Thing - Kate Nash

10. We Belong Together (Mariah's Miracle Mix) - Mariah Carey/Peter Rauhofer 

Super Savvy Supplements

Walking into your local vitamin shop can be an intimidating hassle: the selection of repeated merchandise, the amazing claims of each brand, the TV adverts playing over in your head and, of course, the fevered recommendations of your all-knowing gym buddy. Sometimes I enter for one simple item and leave with a scheduled window-of-time for the delivery man.

One thing that will always set supplements apart in my book is whether they pose a risk to my health - in addition to their supposed benefit. Quite often, any info you read about a product is supplied by the company themselves and, therefore, will not  contain any literature that creates cause for concern. Lesson: do your research...or take my advice. Not one to dwell on the negative, below I list only the positives, the beacons of light and hope that will help you to obtain your own body of death, without actually risking it.

1. Multivitamin - surprisingly often overlooked by amateur bodybuilders, the importance of a multivitamin cannot be stressed enough. I recommend the HealthPak 100 from USANA. It's brilliance is too detailed to divulge here, so I'll offer a link...and if you are so inclined, I can order you some:

http://products.usana.com/en/products/us/essentials/health_pak.shtml

2. Creatine - no eureka, as research consistently shows that creatine increases muscle mass AND muscle strength. I recommend TRAC from MHP, immediately following your workouts: BOO-YAY, BITCHES.

3. L-Glutamine - the most abundant amino acid in your muscle tissue, that can see 40% depletion after a proper training session. I recommend Glutamine Peptide by Sports Science Research, taken ideally post-workout and pre-bed.

4. Natural Hormone Modifiers - the good stuff, the fun stuff, the stuff that we think and hope will make a huge difference...and does: Legally!! To boost testosterone, try Acetabolan II by Muscle Tech before bedtime and to boost growth hormone, try Alpha GPC by Chemi Nutraceutical about an hour before training and just before bedtime.

5. Protein - need I really explain? Thought not...just be aware that 2 grams of protein is the daily recommendation per kilo of body weight...(divide your lbs by 2.2 to get your weight in kilos)...so, at 95 kilos, I strive to eat 190 grams of protein a day, split over 6 meals. Personally, I recommend Myoplex, 100% Whey Protein or Muscle Milk, depending on personal preference for taste, consistency, etc etc. However, one suggestion I implore is to blend every shake with fruit, such that the sugar can help deliver the healing protein to your starving, well-deserving muscles.

Add these 5 supplements to your already kick-ass, Markie de Sade training routine and you're gun' kill it...with a skillet.

Fortify Your Heart

Fortunately, I am a heartless wretch and, therefore, mustn't worry about disease, cholesterol and other heart related ailments such as...ummm, emotion: hehe! This serves hugely beneficial when clients claim to be sucking in their last breaths of life, with their blood shot eyes trying to emote the pain of certain, imminent death...empathetic I am not.

However, if one does possess one of these hearts of which I speak, it is so incredibly important to take the most impeccable measures of care with it. These measures include controlled levels of stress (duh), not smoking (duh!), regular exercise (DUH!) and...particular dietary ingredients. Adding the following super-foods to your regular diet is a great way to start eating your way to a healthier heart:

1. Blueberries - delicious and brimming with enough antioxidents, fiber and vitamin C that you can forget your almost-nutritiously void glass of morning orange juice.

2. Salmon - not only a great source of protein, but is a brilliant source of heart-happy omega-3 fatty acids.

3. Soy - known for its protein, fiber and vitamins, but also shown to lower triglycerides, which helps to prevent cardiovascular disease.

4. Oatmeal - roughage and regularity...what more could you ask for in your breakfast? Perhaps, a seal of approval from the FDA that allows manufacturers to advertise oats as a way for you to lower your risk of heart disease. 

5. Spinach - the king of the vegetable world...and with just reason. Popeye was full of phytochemicals, vitamins, minerals (especially iron and folate), helping to combat loss of eyesight AND heart disease.

Five simple, tasty ways to ensure a happier, healthier heart: eat 'em, live 'em, love 'em.

Get Those Bigger Muscles

Are you working hard enough to warrant the results you THINK you deserve? 

Maybe, possibly...but! probably not - and this is through no fault of your own, as many of your strides toward a bigger, buffer, bodacious bod can be made off the gym floor, as well. You are merely a victim of the uninformed, from which you will now be granted sanctuary. To that end, follow the pointers below and watch your chest, arms - and ego! - swell...

1. Don't skip the basics: go for compound exercises (ie chest press, squats) instead of singular isolation exercises (ie cable flies, leg extensions) since using more muscle groups for an execise imposes greater strain on the body...and greater strains translates to greater gains.

2. Don't forget to rest: your muscles need 48-hours to recoup, so by engaging in extra activity (ie cardio, sports) your body will use the calories for more burning than building. To see the gains for which you're striving, keep your cardio to a minimum of 20 minutes, 3 times a week.

3. Don't starve yourself: IMMEDIATELY after your workout, you MUST eat a meal/shake comprised of high-carb and high protein - when you stop training, your body is busting its balls to convert glucose into glycogen, so that your muscles can rebuild themselves...without the magic concoction, your body will fight you, destroy you, bring you to your muscle-craving mercy and break down your muscles into amino acids which converts into glucose.

4. Don't skimp on sleep: this is basic and you already know it, but not enough people follow thru...though, those that do definitely reap the benefits. Deep sleep is essential for muscle recovery.

5. Don't go thirsty, don't waste your protein: to gain muscle, eating 1 gram of protein for every 2.2 pounds of body weight is a commonly accepted rule; however, this is only if the body is granted enough water intake with which to process the protein. By drinking 8 - 10 glasses a day, and dividing protein servings between 25 - 30 grams per meal, you help your body to perform optimally. 

Keep in mind that better muscles make better lovers...

Tasty Toppings - The Best and Worst Condiments

Nothing like a bit of garlic lard to add flavor to your meal...and inches to your waistline!

Avoid the pitfalls of poor condiment judgement by choosing wisely what you spread over your next meal. Here are some of my favorite alternatives to butter, mayo and full-fat salad dressings:

1. Hummmmmmus - the richness of mayo, but loaded with goodies like protein and fiber, instead of calories and fat.

2. Guacamole - trade in the bad fat of mayo for the good fat of guacamole.

3. Pesto - one of my favorite tasty delights, the olive oil and pine nut base is full of monounsaturated fat AND the basil is choked full of antioxidents.

Pay respect to my dietary motto: once on the lips, a lifetime on the hips...these are simple choices you can make to lighten your weight load, yet heighten your sensory load.

Best Biceps Buddies

Sleeve popping biceps are crucial accessories for summer fashions...but how many curls can one person do before your body's neuro-system taps into your redundancy and refuses to make anymore improvements until you boost your game?

Not many...

So: the next time you're at the gym, getting ready to do yet ANOTHER 3 sets of 10 preacher curls, grab a like-minded gym bunny (ie read: competitive-size-hungry-muscle-monster) and help each other out by presenting a challenge.

Standing across from each other, perform one rep on a standard barbell curl - then pass it to your partner, who then performs a single rep. Next, it's your turn again and you hammer out two, then your partner follows suit...get the idea? It's a little dual to see who will give up first. Obviously, this starts off easy but, if performed to the best of your bicep-tastic abilities, will end in teary-eyed pain...and bigger guns: 

GIVER LIVER!

Big Bunches of Butts

As a gay man, there are very few things that get me going as much as a fine, meaty rump...high, round, perky and thick are all wonderful adjectives I like to attach to anyone who has worked/werq'd hard to achieve junk in the trunk.

Here's an exercise to help welcome yourself to the honorary fellowship of buxom, bodacious bottoms.

(Hehe!)

The Single-Leg Step-Up: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM2hfe3B9mk

The single-leg step-up is a great muscle booster for the hamstrings and glutes, and when these two muscles work together, a lovely lower-shelving action arises. The key is to make sure you're using a platform that will raise your leg's starting position to a 90 degree angle, such that your knee is in line with your hip...a bench or set of boxes as high as a park bench usually does the trick.

Placing the whole of one foot on the bench, transfer the weight of your body into that heel and push up so that your whole body lifts and your other foot comes off the floor. Focus on only using the 'lead' leg, using the other should balancing be required. As you are standing into the highest position, squeeze your glutes and push your hips slightly forward, breathing out as you do.

Just as important as your ascent onto the bench, is your descent into the starting position. As with so many other exercises, there is equal work to be performed during the eccentric phase of motion - therefore, slowly come back down and concentrate, again, on your 'lead' leg doing all the work.

For added muscle tear, place a weighted bar bell atop your shoulders or use dumb bells...and feel the burn.

On...Bench Presses

I want you to re-think the bench press motion.

Instead of lowering the weight using your arms, think about SQUEEZING your shoulder blades together as you lower the weight. By pressing your back into the bench and retracting your shoulders, you'll load the tension onto your upper back. This allows you to press more weight with your chest, thus getting bigger tits, sooner.

(It also prevents injury to your shoulders, which is a plus as big as your bigger tits).

On...Never Going Hungry

Having just returned from the land of pints and pies, the sacred temple which is my body took a hiatus and enjoyed a mini-break from the Markie de Sade...an essential part of every gym bunny's regime! Not to say that I didn't remain active - having walked all over London with the obligatory daily-ish visit to my old gym - but my workouts were more like catch-ups and my diet teetered near the deathly edge of a gluttonous sloth...

I digress to my tendencies for hyperbole.

Anyway! My time away from a stricter regime has renewed my lust for health and upon return to my local Wholefoods in Chelsea, I stocked up on essentials to keep my typically insatiable appetite...satiated:

1. Almonds

2. Oatmeal

3. Salmon 

4. Quinoa

5. Black Beans

Together, these foods have enough muscle-building protein, rib-sticking fiber and healthy unsaturated fat to keep your cravings for more more more at bay...if all else fails, magnet a photo of obesity on your fridge door - works like a charm.